FUNNY STORY

         "2 IDIOTS,A TRAMP AND A PREAGNANT LADY"

Aaron and Jason are two college dropouts from New Jersey City University. Anyone who looks at them from afar, they look at them as a mismatch pairs of screw-up proportion. Aaron is the smaller but handsome, and intelligent young man in his 20’s. He is incapable in socializing with anyone despite looking normal, and it doesn’t help that he is cynical, and psychotic. Jason also in his 20’s a talented athlete: Strong as a bull, but dumber than your legal dumb blonde representing as an attorney for hire. He is also a very ugly resembling a mixture of a humanoid alien and a prehistoric cave woman if they ever co-breed together. Despite the unusual features “J” for Jason nicknamed by Aaron is a colossal giant, whose heart is 3 sizes big for everyone. This giant is loyal to a fault to Aaron which makes him use Jason for every treacherous schemes he hatches. At one point Aaron utilized Jason as an enforcer against college classmates. Bullying and extorting them for not just money, but prized possessions sold off making them more cash.

Jason believes Aaron was letting him play a game of “How high can he lift them” or “Can you throw them far over to the trash can” This went on until the Dean caught wind of it, thus expelling Aaron since he masterminded all of this. Jason who is innocent but loyal chose to side with Aaron was kicked out alongside. This leads to the two who are walking wearily with no money, job, or family for the latter hearing of Aaron’s exploits. They were both cut off financially with no house to support a roof over their heads. Aaron believes things couldn’t get worse until Jason was given away their last pocket money to a hobo. That hobo spent the last dough with the drug dealer for a bag of weed.

“J you stupid or what? You gave away our savings just to get weed? Get HIGH?!!!” Aaron shouted

“I’m sorry Er… I-I-I-I-I…” Jason answered timidly

“You w-w-w-w-What??” Aaron questioned aggressively

“You were sad… I thought we should… Smoke it off. You like to smoke high.” Jason says

Aaron looks at both the homeless man and Jason each eager for puff he sighs and lets out his hand.

“What the hell, gimme some.” he concedes both men grinning happily as Jason takes the cigarette weed from the homeless, then to Aaron. He smokes then lets out a hoof of after breath, he gives it to Jason who does the same, and he at last gives it to the raggedy homeless who smokes the last earnestly. He laughs with hearty filled joy and turns to the two.

“I thank you kindly fellas. This lost soul here had his last drop. Names Louie and you boys are” He waits as they looked at one another Aaron nods no but Jason didn’t get the hint.

“I’m Jason but J for short… This is Aaron… We’re Dropouts!” Jason shouts as Aaron slaps his head, then slaps Jason at the back to his head.

“You two from college N.J.C.U. right? Looks like expectations been hitting right real low now. Anyone can be in college and decides to be out or forced out of it. Listen I don’t know what you expelled for, but you boys had been good so I’ll take y’all to my place with my wife. She fixing to have company other than poor old me.” He finishes with his yellow hole ridden teeth exposed as Aaron blanches while Jason smiles appreciatively.

“Just like that you’re going to let us misfits with no possible future just stroll into your safe haven unguarded with a defenseless lady lover and suspect we ain’t bad folks. How do you know you can trust us? The better question is how do we know your not going to slit our throats in our sleep?” He questions with hostility but Jason looks confused which is no surprise and Louie had a solemn look to himself.

“My lady lover is also my wife… She was married to some rich yuppie before she caught him being given head to another tart who his air thinks don’t stink. She was going to divorce him but he ran out on both ladies. My Bellamy was heartbroken and the worst has not yet come to pass. She was pregnant by that fiend who left her penniless, no home to secure her and the baby. She’s near due time and I married once. She was beautiful… Was beautiful. No longer with me but Bellamy came to my life almost like divine intervention. I had one chance to make it right… To make sure Bellamy has a beautiful and lively child with laughter going off like a machine gun. Full of happiness… The happiness I intend to let it come to pass.” Louie finishes with conviction in his voice

“Well sorry for her, Sorry for her and “Your” baby but I’m thinking J and I are better off on our own. It’s just us two like you and Bellamy. Oh sorry! You, Bellamy, plus one that’s not even your kid!” Aaron finishes sneeringly but Jason strongly pulls him before any more drama unfolds.

“Aaron please… I’m tired and hungry… You’re hungry and angry. We could help Louie and Bellamy if she is giving birth. Please I want to help… We can’t leave and Louie is trying to help us. Our own family threw us out and we got nothing left.” Jason begs tearfully as he crouches and bows his head down to the ground. Aaron who looks at Jason whom is pathetic in his eyes, while Louie looks unhinged at Aaron’s rant but is sadder for Jason.

“Louie sorry for going off like that. It was always Jason and me against the world… Always and forever that’s what he said. So… Show us where home is where the heart is.” Aaron finishes Jason got up happily and proceeds to go towards where Louie is standing. Louie smiles and shows them where his home is. The three men arrive in some metal like shack home. Metal parts sticking out with displaced parts that looks tied, hammered, and jammed crudely. Two square shape outlines appear what resembles windows covered in ragged tapestry. It looks more like an outhouse rather than a house. Then the front door opens revealing a woman who seems to be in her mid 30’s but there is still beauty there albeit withering. What is noticeable is the womb shaping like a basketball or hot air balloon ready to pop. She notices Louie with two other people who she does not recognize.

“Louie dear! God am I glad to see you’re alright and who… Are these with you?” Bellamy asks with nervousness

“Bell this is Aaron and Jason they’re both college kids or was. They did something stupid and their family pretty much cut them off with nowhere else to go. They got no place of their own like us. We are all ordinary broken people… Just let them stay over until they can find a little holy land of their own.” Louie says hoping she would find it in her heart to let the two stay over.

“Fine but they better pull their weight and me being pregnant means dealing with constant mood swings.” She finished vehemently

“That’s fine” Louie beckons the two as he lets them in. The first few days were rough mainly Aaron and Bellamy were at each other throats. Both Louie and Jason were mediators to their respective others. Over time though Bellamy and Aaron were warming to each other when the two opened up to the couple about their former comfortable life. Aaron was an only child with huge expectations but was let down because of parent negligence, peer pressure, and bad decisions. Jason had it worse abusive father, absent mother it was only through his athletics that he was able to get to college despite having average grades. Everyone knew Bellamy’s life before it went downhill, but Louie is what only Bellamy knew and the two boys did not know. Louie used to be a banker the elite of the elites and with a very beautiful wife which made Bellamy jealous briefly. He was going to be a father but his wife went under labor having forced to undergo C-Section which he loses his first love through childbirth and unborn by stillborn. Louie suffered through severe depression missed more than almost 7 days, and drank himself heavily to relive from emotional pain.

He was released from his job and through desperation Louie tries to find lesser paying ones but with no luck to spare. He liquidated his assets to pay for any debts, but it merely paid only minimum of what half it is and the bills began mounting higher and higher. His house was taken and with nothing but the clothes on his back he walks aimlessly begging for any loose change. It wasn’t until Bellamy came to his life as she was struck with more befallen fate than he had. It compelled Louie to put aside his grievances and help her in any way he can. He had sneak in to a drug store to steal any first-aid kit. Building a shack with nothing but spare parts, and laundering and stealing fresh foods and vegetables to keep Bellamy from being malnourished. Touched by his kindness and slowly falling for him Bellamy would often be the emotional support Louie needed and take turns to help build and clean up the house. The two married but not traditionally  with makeshift necklaces that signify two people that will be together forever. Just like the vow Aaron and Jason made to be there for each other like brothers, Always and Forever.

After heavy confessions the 4 became almost like family and began to sleep soundly. It was that night the 3 boys would never forget this day.

“Louie t-the baby! I think I should say scream like Lion-O from the Thunder cats!!!” Bellamy screams loudly Louie woke first with Aaron and Jason from behind. Louie tells Jason to get a towel and be her emotional support as Louie inspects his wife’s womb to see if there any signs of the baby impending approach. Then Louie has Aaron provide physical support to have him and Bellamy grab hands so when she prepares to have her baby pulled out. Jason screams with a pitch and his features so terrifying leaving Bellamy shouting too.

“J what are you doing?” Aaron asks

“I was trying to encourage her to scream… See mom did that to pop me out.” Jason meekly defends himself

“Look don’t scream alright… No screaming I’ll tell her to push out her kid. You J will comfort her when it gets too hard for her and Aaron will-” Bellamy cuts Louie off

“Shut up, Shut up, JUST SHUT UP!!!” Bellamy shouts angrily

“I hate to interrupt this lovely quality bonding family time Mom, Dad , and Jason MY moronic friend, but CAN WE PLEASE HAVE THE BABY OUT NOW?!!?!” Aaron in pain shouting off at the top off his lungs. Now Louie panicking tells Bellamy to give one last push with him, Bellamy, Aaron, and Jason all screamed as long as they could. Until the head came out with one heave the baby has been delivered. The three men sighed with comfort including Bellamy was happily crying that her child is safe and perfectly sound. She motions to Louie to have him hold her, then Louie prompted Jason to hold the baby. Last the child was given to Aaron who had trouble due to hand pain after nearly being crushed, was able to hold the baby gently as he could.

“We should think of a name.” Louie said as Bellamy and Jason thought of a name. Aaron came with one right off the bat.

“May-Belle” Aaron says softly Louie, Bellamy, and Jason loved it that now May-Belle was finally sleeping. Louie and Bellamy were at each others side never leaving. Aaron and Jason looked at one another.

“So is this… Where we leave?” Jason regretfully asks

“Its you, me, plus these 3 against the whole wide world. Always and Forever.” Aaron finishes his quote and Jason lifts Aaron choking him with a powerful hug making him protest for air to have Jason let him go. Louie and Bellamy looked at the two boys with happiness that they now have extra hands and care for their newly born pride and joy.

__END__

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