"SLEEPLESS"
“F**k! I’m late. Can’t miss the school bus today. Its auditions.”
JUST ANOTHER DAY
Three days and nights. Still no sleep!
“F**k! I’m late. Can’t miss the school bus today. Its auditions.”
“Don’t rush, you’ll get it”. I could hear my dad screaming behind as I left the house.
I could see dark clouds gathering. Rain was the last thing I need then.
I increased my pace. Crossed the street and headed towards the turning ahead. That is where the bus stopped. Everyday.
The bus was leaving and I got just in time. One minute more and I would have to walk back home. That su**ed!
I took a seat at the back.
“Hey, Sleepless Romeo, got any sleep lately?”.
I recognized the voice. That coarse distinct tone could have only one source. Its Abhik.
One can say he’s a friend of mine. But that’s only on the bus. Outside we act like strangers from different planets! Obvious reasons. His friends’ circle and mine are not very compatible with one another. I turned my eyes to the right and there he was. He looked extremely tired. Eyelids were on the verge of shutting out all light to his eyes. He was rather bulky in form with an extraordinarily large head, so he looked exhausted even when he was most active. That’s typical of him.
“Uhh,not much luck . Tried. Nothing happened. But what ’bout you buddy? You look like you’ve been sleeping on the streets on a bed of mosquitoes. Kicked out of home or what? Did your parents finally realize you are not their real boy?”, I replied. I tried to sound funny. Don’t know why.
“I see you haven’t lost touch with your sh**ty sense of humor. No, man. Been up till 5 a.m. Playing Assassins Creed 3. Just got it yesterday. Its just awesome. The upgrades… you are simply not going to believe buddy…the new mode which they got…”
“Okay, I get it”,I cut his speech short. Didn’t want my morning to begin with gaming headlines. “Happy gaming to you and your assassins. Spare me the details…please.”
He didn’t talk for the rest of the journey. He’s pretty sentimental about his games. Crazy fellow. Good for me he didn’t speak. I really wanted some rest. Closed my eyes and rested my head sideways on the window glass. Can’t sleep.
So, that’s what I’ve been called for the last three days. Sleepless Romeo. Not even an hour of sleep in the last 72 hours. But the weirdest part – I did not feel it at all. By now anyone else would have had to get hospitalized. Why not me? Didn’t know. Didn’t bother to find out. As long as I’m fine, everything else is. I don’t know how it all started. Three nights before I went to bed at 11:30 p.m. I lied awake all night. I thought maybe it was just for a night, maybe it’ll pass. Maybe. But it just hung on to me. I do miss my sleep.
But fortunately it hadn’t caused any dip in my concentration levels, so I was still useful in school. Only that I had nothing to at night. I spent the last two nights reading my favourite Agatha Christie’s crime fiction.
AT SCHOOL
“Wake up. Are you alive?”
It was Abhik. Finally he spoke. I looked about. We had reached the school campus. I was lost too deep in thoughts. Time flew by. I couldn’t account for most of the time of my journey. Nevertheless, there we were and thats what mattered then.
“I wasn’t sleeping. See you during the break.”,I replied in a matter-of-fact tone.
Well, so another boring day at school. The auditions were to take place after break.
The day was going just as usual. I just had to bear the teachers and their subjects till the break. That was the only positive thought for the day.
During the break I found Abhik sitting by himself in the canteen. I joined him at the table.
“So, enjoying all the attention with your all new Assassins Creed stories”, I said sarcastically.
He looked gloomy. He just looked up as if he would say something , suddenly sighed and just dropped his head.
“Hey, whats the matter? You alright?”, I inquired.
“Yeah, everything’s fine”. Pause.
I waited for him to continue.
He burst out,”Except the fact that Rajeev already has the game and has completed almost half of it! I mean… how could he?!! I was struggling right in the third level. Forget it. I thought I was the first to play this among friends. They’ll make fun of me now”. He took a heavy breath.”I s**k!”
“Don’t worry man, relax… its just a game after all. C’mon I’ll cheer you up. Lets see some girls out here. See the farthest one… wow man… nice legs… nice short skirt to match too…”
“Shut up! She’s our senior and our teacher’s daughter! Are you out of your mind?!!”
“Whats the harm in seeing her legs? They’re nice. She probably wants us to see them too”, I winked at him and added,”You should appreciate natural beauty, you know… that’s what our English teacher keeps telling us”.
That last line put a faint smile on his face. “Oh yeah, right. You’re always right! Look at her legs! Delicious !”
We burst out laughing. Delicious! There was no limit to our imagination. Boys will be boys.
He went serious again,”Leave it man! I know how good you are with girls. You can just look at their legs and have wild fantasy staring at their boobs! Can you even go and ask one of them her name atleast? I know you can’t. Can you? Tell me!”
Now he was really spoiling my mood. I replied flatly,”You know what? F**k you and your games! Whats wrong with you? Don’t tell me what I can do and what I can’t! I don’t speak to girls doesn’t mean I cannot speak! Understood moron?!!”
“Okay okay… I get it. Lets see you speak to Shweta during the auditions today. I’ll see how good you are.”
He left in a hot mood. Well, better to be angry than carry a heart of sorrows.
Ah, the girl Shweta. My heart-throb. She’s in my class. My crush, my love… but just not my girlfriend. Seeing her smile sent a 10,000 volts of electric charge through my heart. What the f**k am I saying?!! She’s the girl of my dreams. Such elegance and the way she carries herself. I wonder if she has any flaws at all. Oh, and a beautiful body too. Well,love is blind but I’m not! I’ll not go into the details of that. Matters of personal interest.
The thing about auditions. Well, its the annual school concert next month. So, auditions for the different events could be held that day. I would be trying to get a role in the school play… alongside HER! That day, was a big day for me.
I heard the bell ringing. Break was over.
AUDITIONS
I headed staright to the auditorium. The auditions would be held there.
I saw Ashish at one corner preparing some list.
“Hey Ashish, When does the audition for the play begin?”, I asked him.
“Sorry man, better luck next time. There will be no auditions. The group is selected. Akash did it. You’re not in it. Really sorry.”
Well, this shock was clearly more than 10,000 volts! “But, how is that possible? I want a chance too. Is Shweta in it?”
“Oh, yes, she is. Oh, there they are. You go talk to them now. I gotta prepare the list of students’ names, buddy. Sorry ’bout what happened. See ya later”.
“Okay…thanks anyways”,I said in a dejected voice.
I turned my head and saw who he referred to as ‘they’. It was Shweta…with Akash. That ba***rd! I approached them. It was at the other end of the auditorium. He was making random motion with his hands, gesturing something. Probably trying to impress her by explaining some stupid stuff. As I came closer, both of them turned to face me at the same time.
“Uh, can we talk for a moment?”,I managed to say. Not very good at talking.
“Hmmm…sure… what is it?”. She spoke first.
“I heard the group for the play got selected. I mean, shouldn’t there be some audition or something? I was really lookin’ forward to it, you know.”
“No, that was not needed. You see, Akash selected the group. Its perfect and the teachers liked it too. So we skipped the unnecessary trouble”.
“What if I want to join in? Anything for me?”
“Sorry bro, we’re full”,Akash intervened,”but we could use someone help with the props and stuff.”
She started laughing.”Oh, there’s no need. We’ll need somebody stronger for that.”
Both of them burst out laughing. I should have walked it off. But I didn’t.
“Thats not fair enough, you should have given me a chance. I could have done better instead of you”, it was all I managed to say through clenched teeth.
“C’mon now”,she continued,”Akash definitely can do the role better. And moreover, I won’t act with anybody else. You should try somewhere else. We’ve got work to do now… Do you mind leaving?”
“I won’t act with anybody else? What? Is he your boyfriend or what? Stupid girl!”, I mumbled as I began to walk away.
Well, she heard that. F**k! Do all girls possess such ears which can detect sounds even of the lowest frequency possible to be heard by man?!
“What did you just say?!”,she stormed at me.
“What? Nothing! I was just walking away. You two carry on”,I said coolly.
“Listen boy, you don’t need to about who my boyfriend is or was. None of your business”,the friendliness in her voice had vanished,”You walk out of here right now or I’ll call the teachers in charge! Just get lost, loser!”
I lost my head. “You act as if its my fault ,stupid girl. I deserved a chance. But ,noooo”,my voice was clearly rising,”I want my Akash. Oh, Akash come to me. You get lost. Useless dumbheaded girl”.
“Just shut up… okay? Just shut up! I can see how stubborn you are. Wait here! Just wait! You’ll see what happens! You don’t know how to talk to girls! I’m calling the teacher. You’re gonna have it for good now, boy… You’ll see!”
Akash interfered. He stopped her. “No, don’t do that. We don’t want things to get delayed , do we? Forget ’bout him. Let me handle this.”
Just then the others were enter the hall. He turned towards me. “Hey, just get outta here. We don’t want any trouble”, he said flatly and added,”Don’t come near her or bother her again.”
The others stared blankly at me. I opened my mouth to say something but thought it better to shut up! I had no choice. I turned and started walking. As I left I could hear the sound of murmuring back in the auditorium. They were probably laughing about it now. And there was nothing I could do.
I then realized how Abhik might have felt.
The rest of the day went normal. I attended classes and did not get into trouble, further.
But I couldn’t concentrate on anything. I was still thinking of what happened. NO, its not my fault. She’s the one who spoke to me like that. I deserve better! I was angry. I was so f**kin’ angry that if I got a chance I would cut their heads to pieces, mercilessly. I swear.
I returned home around 4:00 in the evening. For the first time in four days I felt tired. But I had to stay awake now. I had my assignments to complete.
It was 12:30 a.m. I should get some sleep that day. I was still disturbed and pissed off for what happened that day. That stupid bi**h! And I liked her? Yuck!
As I lied on my bed thinking about them, time passed…
KILLED
Couldn’t sleep. Suddenly I had this urge to get up and go out. It was merely irresistible.
I got up and made sure others were deeply in sleep. Then put on my trousers and was out on the streets. I must be f**kin’ mad! I was out of my house on the streets at 2 a.m. at night with no real purpose.
But I had something driving me. I can’t explain what it was but it was strong. It felt like it wanted me to do something.
I don’t know for how long I kept walking. The road seemed endless. But it felt good, more than good.
The road was empty,lights were dim. Not a soul on the streets. I could only make out the sound of some distant dog, barking. It was a summer night, but a gentle breeze made me comfortable. The sky was clear and starry. As I walked further, I could make out two people standing under the street lamp.What on Earth are these two doing here?
I approached them cautiously. I tried to make out their faces in the dark but failed. For a moment, I thought I should turn back but something was urging me on. I moved further ahead and what I saw next, shocked me.
It was Shweta and Akash. Both talking the way they had been doing at school and in the same dress. Didn’t they go home? What were they doing there at that time? I had a million questions.
I went closer. But that didn’t turn out to be a good decision. Before I could even make out what happened, I saw Akash’s head turn and his eyes fell on me. In a flash, he pounced on me like a hungry lion. He caught me by the collar and pushed me to the ground. I tried to resist but in vain. He caught me by the throat with both of his hands and was literally choking me to death. I didn’t even get a chance to speak or explain anything. I was trying my best to free his grips. My senses wouldn’t hold long enough, I knew.
I didn’t want to die. Nobody does. ‘I have to save myself’. This was the last logical thought which came to my head. I beat my legs wildly on the ground due to agony. It was painful. I didn’t know how many seconds or minutes had passed. It felt like years. I could hear the faint music of my favourite song. I could even hear my mom calling out to me. It felt strange. Death is strange. I stopped all resistance. I could make out Shweta still standing under the street lamp watching me die. She could save me but I think she chose not to. I was alone. I was dying.
His grips tightened on my neck. As I lay down I could see the beast-like expression on his face and I could hear faintly,”I told you to stay from her as***le. Now, you’re gonna pay ba***rd. You ugly rat. Just die and leave us in peace…”
My vision was going black. My body was trying to take in more oxygen in every breath. My hands fell to my sides and everything started getting blurry. I couldn’t hear anything now.
Now I felt. I felt my fingers touch something. Something heavy and bulky and coarse. It lay at my side. I didn’t care to know what it was. For me it was ‘hope’. With my last ounce of strength, I got hold of it and swung it at his bloody face!
Oxygen! I felt air rushing in me. Renewal of life. He let go off my neck then. But the danger hadn’t passed yet. I could see and hear somewhat clearer now. His temple was bleeding as he screamed in pain. He was furious like a raging bull. My neck hurt real bad. I saw now what I held. It was a rock. Life-saving rock! He was searching frantically around for something he could use to hit me with.
I agree completely. We’re animals. Even we’ve got protective instincts. As he turned around to pick up the rock behind him, I managed to raise the upper part of my body just so my hand could reach him and out of sheer instinct for survival I swung again at his head. It hit him at the back of his head and he fell. Silence. My body collapsed again on the ground.
I lay there for what seemed like ages. When I finally opened my eyes, I didn’t know what time it was then. I had gained some strength to stand up. Shweta was not there. Before me lay Akash, still motionless. I hurriedly turned him and laid him on his back. He had bled profusely. He was not breathing. I remembered the lessons in lower classes. Anything which does not breathe is not alive. Well, Akash was dead and to make matters worse, Shweta saw me kill him!
It was still dark. My neck still hurt. I hurled away the rock. I stood there for sometime, confused. I didn’t know what to do. Should I call for help? Should I run? Probably, I should save my own skin. I should probably run home. My clothes were dirty and had stains of blood on them. I had to get them cleaned. I was running out of time. I had to make a decision. I had to choose.
Just then I heard some truck approaching around the corner. No more time to waste. I got my wits together and ran as fast as I could. I avoided the main road. I got home in 10 minutes. Surprisingly, I couldn’t account for the path I travelled neither the place I was till then. It didn’t matter. Probably I was out of my head. I must get hold of myself. I got into clean clothes and tried to wash away the blood stains. It didn’t help. I put them in a packet and dumped them in my garage. It would be taken care of later. I still wondered how could I have killed a person! That also in such cold-blood! There must be something wrong. Something didn’t feel right. I’m not a f**kin’ killer!
It was 5 a.m. on my watch. I still had one fear… Shweta. She saw everything. She can give me away. But would she? She was the one who was with him, she assisted him in assaulting me. Atleast she didn’t help me when she could have. My future was in darkness of uncertainty. I got on my bed and closed my eyes. I tought,”This is probably the last time I’m seeing you, dear Bed. I’ll probably be sleeping in jail from tomorrow. I’m gonna miss you so much”. It didn’t lighten up my mood even a bit.
Whoa! I sat up with a start. The 6’o clock alarm just went off. What! An hour passed so quickly. I couldn’t afford to go to school that day. I still had red bruises on my neck. I put on a shirt with a bigger-than-usual collar. I couldn’t let my parents find out anything. It would kill them! I just explained to them that I had to stay at home to complete some important assignments. Fortunately, they believed without much hassle. I planned to spend the entire day in my room. Probably waiting for the police. Probably thinking about what crime I had done. Probably thinking of Akash. His parents. Shweta. School. My parents. I was tired of thinking. My head was getting heavy. Or probably I was waiting for something to happen next.
TROUBLE
School started at 8:00 a.m. It was 9:30 then. My mobile rang.
Naturally, I took it as a call from the police station or something. Saw the name on the screen. Abhik.
I received it hesitatingly.
“Yeah, what is it?”
“Hey, didn’t bother to tell me, huh? I wake up early and get ready for school s**t. Why didn’t you tell me?! You didn’t even come to the bus stop.”
“Uhh… I got a slight headache, so I thought of skipping today’s classes.”
“Boy! You are one lucky ba***rd! Guess what? The school’s closed anyways. Wanna hang out?”
“Mmm… maybe later… not today… got some work to get done. By the way, why is school off today?”
“What? Didn’t you see the news yet? Remember Akash? Well, he got killed last night. Pretty messy business ,man… I wonder now his parents must be feelin’ now. He was kind of a good guy”,he sighed,” I thought you knew about it.”
“Nope, I just woke up about an hour ago. Abhi… there’s something we should talk about… its…”
“Yeah, I’m listening, go ahead. I hope its not any of your stupid jokes. Tell me.”
“Uhh… you still wanna hang out? Can we meet?”, I said seriously.
“Sure, I’ll come over as soon as I can.”
“No! Don’t! I’ll come over to your place. Its better there. I hope you don’t have problem with that”.
“Problem? Me? Are you crazy?! Come over quick. I’ll be waiting.”
“Okay, sure. Thanks.”
The line went dead. Man! Everything was going ‘dead’. I guess I’ll have to wait for my turn. It would be coming soon.
I lied again. I told my parents I needed Abhik’s help in finishing the assignments. That provided me with the perfect excuse to leave the house. Atleast I wasn’t lying about where I would be the entire day.
I reached Abhik’s place. Rang the doorbell. I looked pretty decent in formals. I guess all murderers looked handsome in good attire. I carried a small backpack which had some books. Thats for convincing Abhik’s parents. Man! I was getting good at this. I should have decided on this career years ago! I also had a shirt and a pair of trousers and small amount of cash, just in case of any emergency. Though what that emergency would be, I hadn’t figured out yet.
Abhik opened the door. He was just wearing shorts, bare torso. That was expected. It was summer. We went directly to his room on the first floor.
On the way he informed,”My parents are out. Should be back by evening. If you want anything to eat though, help yourself. There’s plenty to go around in the fridge”. He smiled warmly. It seemed I was seeing a smile in a hundred years. It felt comforting, even though it was for a moment.
In his room I could see the PC was on. Assassins Creed. Game paused. I got myself on the bed and laid down flat, my hands covering my face in frustration.
He immediately inquired in a concerned voice,”You all right there? Whats the matter? You look so stressed. Did you finally get some sleep? Tell me. You need any help?”
I stared at him I don’t know for how long. He was expecting me to break the silence. I had to say somthing. I could no loger hold things to myself. I needed a confidant. I needed a moment’s peace. My mind needed a moment’s rest to start working fresh. I burst out like a ticking time bomb!
“I killed Akash.”
“What?!!!”. It was all he could say. He had not much choice of words. I mean, what can you do when your friend suddenly confesses he killed someone? Whats your immediate reaction? I wasn’t expecting him to say anything else. I narrated to him the unfortunate happenings of the night before. He listened wide-eyed. He made no sound or movement at all. When I had finished, all he said was “Are you f**kin’ crazy?!!!”
“No, I’m not. As a matter of fact, I am, because I’ve done something so hideous.”
“I mean, you couldn’t have done it. Its impossible! You’re joking, right?”
I just looked at him with the gravest expression on my face. He was still freaked out. He should’ve been . Its natural. Not many people get to come across a confessing murderer in their daily lives.
He was persistent. “No no no no… NO… It can’t be true. His body was found in his bedroom, not on the streets. There’s no way a dead man is walkin’. Besides, what would he be doing out there in the middle of the night? All this makes no sense!”
It was my turn to be shocked. “What? In his bedroom? How? I killed him there. He had stopped breathing. I know it. How?”
“I guess… you must have been dreaming then.”
“Well, I don’t sleep, you see. I can’t sleep. Wait a second!”,finally I grabbed something to argue about,”Did he have any injuries? Near the head?”
“Hmm… yeah he has. Thats the most mysterious part of his death. He bled to death. He suffered massive injury at the back of his head. All he had was a pillow below it. And no weapon or object was recovered from his house or neighbourhood area. It has really puzzled the investigators. But, where are you gettin’ at? What ’bout it?”
“I know how he bled… because I did that to him! It was me. Believe it or not. I hit him with a rock. I just know it. It all happened right before my eyes.”
“So? What do you want from me? Help you hide in my house?!!”,he yelled at me,”Stop it now. Is this some kind of joke for you? This isn’t funny anymore!”
I was losing my head then. “I’m not trying to be funny! Why don’t you believe me? Its not one of your f**kin’ games. A boy died, asshole. And I killed him! Do you even realise how that feels? I can’t tell my parents, so I’ve come for help to you. But you aren’t helping either!”
He was quiet for a while. “Okay, so how come the body ends up at the house?”,was his direct question.
“I dunno. How do you suppose I should know that? But, what should I do now, man? Its all so f**ked up. Real bad!”
“I’ve no idea. Maybe lie low for a while until all of this is over. Did anyone see you do that?”
That was the most disturbing question for me.
“Yes, there is someone”
“What the f**k! Who?!”
“Shweta. She was there. She saw everything…everything.”
“C’mon dude, how can you not tell that to me? This is a real mess. I mean, how could you kill a boy? I know you didn’t like him but… a murder? Its too much.”
“I had no idea what I was doing there at night. I dunno why he attacked me. I have no idea how the rock came there and what was going through my head. I would not kill a boy just for a girl, will I?” I was breaking down. He could sense it in my voice. My eyes grew watery. I tried to hide it.
He just put a hand on my shoulder. “Take it easy. It was an accident. Yoe’re gonna come out of all this,I know. Don’t worry. Here.”
He handed me a bottle of water. I took a sip or two. Then he added,”Just go home now. My parents will be here soon. Stay low for some days. Don’t go to school for a week. Take a sick-leave. Don’t contact others. And please please please…do call and check in on Shweta. Its really important. Tell me whatever she tells you. We’ll have to face it.”
I sat there for a moment lost in thoughts. Finally, I picked up myself to leave.
I could manage a few words. “Thanks buddy. I’ll call you later. I better get back now.”
“Yeah, take care of yourself. Be a man!” He smiled gently.
Surprisingly, I found myself smiling back.
I left.
SHOWDOWN
The rest of the day went fine. I didn’t contact anyone neither did anyone try to get in touch with me. I rang Shweta’s mobile eight times. No answer. Things did not look too bright for me.
It was 12:30 a.m. My life had changed so much in the last 24 hours. Unbelievable changes. Its been five days now that I’m without any sleep. Still didn’t feel tired. Not a bit.
I lay on my bed for quite some time then. I was thinking what Shweta was probably thinking. There was too much to think, too little that could be done. Time passed by…
I looked at my watch. 2 a.m. I wasn’t feeling even a bit sleepy. I got up and left the room. I went to the terrace of our apartment. Ours was a five-storeyed apartment. A light breeze was blowing. Good for me, given the hot summer days.
As I walked about, I saw someone standing near the corner. I couldn’t see through the darkness. I thought it was Mr.Gupta. He had fequent trouble with his sleep. I moved closer. To my surprise I saw him approach me too. Or rather I should say, She. It was Shweta. What on Earth was she doing there then?!
By then we had come face to face. She seemed composed. I didn’t know what to say. I waited for her to say something. She did.
“You killed him.”
I was taken aback at this direct assault.
“It was an accident, Shweta. You saw it yourself. But you could have stopped it. You could have come to my rescue.”
“It was not upto me. I can see you still don’t know the truth yet.”
She was giving me the creeps. It was dark and I had no idea what we were doing there.
“What truth?”
“Its all a dream,your dream.”
“What are you talking about? What dream? I saw him die before me. It was real for sure!”
“No, it became real. What you did was just in your dream. How you made it real I have no idea. It was your dream. We were in your dream. You brought us. You were probably thinking of us before going to sleep. You killed Akash in his dreams.”
Her voice was so cold and harsh.
“No, it can’t be true. It was real. You’re out of your head. This is real. He was real. The murder was real!”
“Yes, no doubt about that. The murder did happen.But not the way you see it”,she moved even closer, her voice even colder now,”If it were real then what do you think we were doing at that place in the middle of the night? What place was it exactly? How did his body reach his bedroom? How did you find a rock out of nothing? Tell me. Answer me!”
I had no answer. Clearly I had missed out those parts of my life. I hadn’t given it much thought. I was too busy thinking other things. I couldn’t account for those moments. My memory didn’t help either. I was at a loss.
I argued,”But I haven’t slept in the last 5 days. Even Abhik knows that. How can I possibly dream then?”
“Abhik doesn’t stay with you. Leave him out of this. Well, what have you done those nights then?”
“As far as I can remember, I spent the nights reading my favourite Agatha Christie’s crime fiction.” was my instant reply.
“Which is?”
“Its called The…”, I couldn’t finish my sentence. I couldn’t remember the name. I stared blankly at her face searching for answers.
“You never read it. You were probably thiking of the English assignment – A short note on Agatha Christie.”
I could see where it was going. I could see the truth in her reasons. I never read such a novel. I slept at nights. I slept all nights.Thats why I never felt tired during the day. The dreams seemed to make everything real. It made me feel awake. It all makes sense. Thats why I could never account for some intervals of my time. It were at these times that I was either falling asleep or waking up. But my dreams seemed so real. And how it affected the real world too. Unbelieveable power! Everthing was falling to place now. Every piece of the puzzle. But I decided to push further.
“How did you escape then?”, my voice was getting firmer now. I wanted control.
“When you were lying after killing him, I woke up. My mom woke me up. There was a burglary at our neighbour’s. I was lucky. I later realised the whole truth. It was an improbable one but the only possible one.”
“You still are”,I mumbled.”But why did Akash attack me?”
“Maybe thats how you imagined it to be. Maybe thats what you thought of him. Hatred and dislike combined. Your thoughts control your dreams. Your emotions too. You sure do have a rare gift to transform it to reality. Its impressing.”
“Did you tell anyone about it?”
“Whats the use? Nobody will believe such nonsense. It will only create more drama around the murder.”
Man! She sure was smart. If she ever got into ant dirty mind games I’d bet my entire money on her! One thing was confirmed. There was no evidence in the crime. Nobody had anything against me. A perfect crime!
I sighed. Took a deep breath. “So, you’ve come all the way to my terrace to tell me all these? Why? What do you want?”
“Sorry to say, but I didn’t come all the way here to see you. You brought me here.”
“What the…?”, I stopped midway of my speech. I understood. But it was too much. To be experiencing all this right before me.
We were in my dream.
I was thinking of her before dozing off to deep slumber. My thoughts giuded me, my dreams.
She spoke softly,”You brought me here”,she moved her face closer such that I could feel the warmth of her breath in my ears. Her voice seemed a distant whisper. “You brought me here”,she repeated,”to kill me!”.
As soon as those last words had left her lips, I felt a sudden pang of pain in my chest. She had stabbed me! A kitchen knife. It missed my heart but was enough to bleed me to death.
She still whispered,”But I want to live. Forgive me, please”. I felt guilt in her voice.
And she thrust it deeper.
Instinctively, I raised my hands in protection. I pushed her away from me. She fell, hurting herself. I felt bursts of pain in my head. My hands were going numb. My heart felt like hot lava. It was the second time in two days that I was facing death. Just my luck! With great effort I pulled out the knife. It hadn’t penetrated deep. I could see her approaching me furiously again. I tried to resist. She tried to snatch the knife from my hand.
Fight for survival. She tried to guide the knife back through my chest. I was weak. I did not stand a chance against her then. The knife pointed towards me and she put all her power behind it. Few seconds of tussle and then it happened. It went through the heart.
It went through her heart. I had turned the knife just in time towards her and pulled her towards me. It ripped through her left breast and right into her heart. She collapsed to the ground. So did I.
I could see her panting for breath. I didn’t want her to die. That was the last thing I wished. Another murder to my name. Not again. Not happening. I got close to her. She couldn’t speak. She just looked at me with wide teary eyes. They were crying for help. They were screaming in unbearable pain. If she died now, she’d be dead in the real world. I had to do something. I had to stop the dream. Its a pity that we can’t use Alt+F4 combination in the real world.
I had to make a decision and I had to make it quick. She was dying. There was definitely a shortcut to ending my dream. It was my dream. I had to take control. We were at the edge of the terrace. I made the decision.
I did it. And hoped it would work.
FINAL
I opened my eyes. It was all very blurry. I could make out the white ceiling above.
I could smell a distinct odour. But I couldn’t move a muscle in my body. I was probably lying on a bed. Probably hospital. I could make out a face before me now. It was Abhik.
His voice was clear,”Thats my man! You gonna live man. You got into a real mess. But don’t worry. By the way, Shweta is admitted in the room beside yours. She got admitted the same day. Docs can’t figure out what’s wrong with her. She’s breathing but is lost in a kind of deep sleep. Forget ’bout that. We’re glad you’re doing well. Take care now.”
So, it did work.
I was glad to hear that Shweta was alive. But I didn’t understand her condition. Probably I had ended the dream prematurely. To save her, I had jumped off the terrace, it ended my dream with a kick-start! Surprisingly, killing myself there, didn’t kill me hereBut it did something else to me. There could be a thousand possibilities as to the consequences for that action. But there was nothing I could do now. I was helpless myself.
Soon, my parents came to see me. They were glad I had gained consciousness. But the shock came later. I was not recovering. My body was growing weaker. My responses were not working. My body would not go to sleep. Shweta’s would not wake up. It seemed we were tied to the opposite ends of the same rope. But tied all the same. Helpless.
A week passed.
So, here I am. Sleepless. This time for real. No dreams. My body is deteriorating day by day. I need sleep. I need rest. Doctors can’t seem to understand my sleepless condition. They’s given up hope after considering every medical possibility.
Shweta is still asleep. She’s not showing any signs of waking up. I envy her sleep. She probably envies me too. Funny but true.
Its strange how death seems to have got a liking for me. Playing with me, toying with me,tossing me around for fun. I sometimes wonder now,’Will death be painful? Or just like a preparing for a lonf sleep?’
I see my parents everyday. I see them cry. I can’t cry. My body no longer has that privilege. They know their son is going to die soon. I see the agony in their faces,feel the desperation in their voices as they pray for me. I can’t look into their eyes, it kills me every f**kin’ second of my survival. The number of visitors kept on increasing. Friends, relatives and others. I wish to die now. I can’t bear this burden anymore. My parents deserve better.
I’m Rahul. I don’t wish to die. But destiny seems to have planned otherwise. I do not have much time left. I lie here, on my bed just causing pain to the people who love me. I’m glad I could save Shweta. I hope she wakes up some day.
As for me, I am still waiting for sleep…permanent eternal sleep of death.
__END__
SOURCE BY-RAUL
PUBLISHED BY-OURHELLO.COM
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