ARTICLE ON SELF

                                                  "MY CORNER"

There is a corner inside me. Its quiet. Calm. Serene. I see life pass by through its glass windows. In slow motion. A place where the world’s noise do not reach me. I crawl back in to my corner when things go wrong. When I loose. When I fall. When I am angry or hurt.

My corner is like my mother’s womb, where I am just a featus. Growing, evolving. Observing, absorbing. My corner is my best mate, friend, philosopher and guide. I have put up mirrors all around it. So that I can look at my self. Look within my self. And in those times when I am the culprit, I have to look in to my eyes and accept. I have to face my self, and own up eventually.

When I know, I can not explain my self to any one any more, I talk to my corner. It communicates with me. Answers the innane questions, which I am yet to phrase. My corner, disburses my dark clouds, and washes away my doubts. I am met by a fresh early morning breeze and the first raise of baby soft sun rise. I am rejuvenated. Refreshed.

Some times, the wordly wounds run deep and dark. The loss of earthly relations can leave you shocked and stunned. In those moments of distress, when my tears have dried out, and helpless screams have met with silence, my corner is my knight in shining armour. I go back to it, to be embraced, comforted like an unconsolable child. I lay my burning forehead in my corner’s lap, and close my blood shot eyes. I am alone yet comforted.

In my little corner, I keep my precious memories and the innocent essence of all wordly relations. Some things are invaluable, and it isn’t safe to share them with the world. You never know who will come and snatch it away from you. There are people, memories, relations that I want to keep close to my heart. But it isn’t easy to express always. And misunderstandings kill more relations than any other man made weapon.

So I keep quite. My feelings, my thoughts are known only to my corner. My corner is my little treasure house. You won’t find any material objects there. Just thoughts, and memories, both happy and sad. May be a few unanswered questions, occasionaly. They are my precious stones. My keep sakes.

The air within my corner thrives on Silence, like that in the world thrives on Oxygen. When silence prevails, things start falling into place, gradually. I can be quiet and re run the happenings of an eventful day. Silence is my best medicine for all the wounds and gashes that come with life and time.

My corner ensures that in turbulent moments I remain silent. So that I don’t do any further harm to my self. The questions, accusations, unnecessary hurt that are running a marathon in my mind, are left with no choice, but to sombre down. To be engulfed by the silence. In silence, I find my solutions to all the troubles, tricks and trials.

I come across a new relation, a new face every other day. Some I embrace immediately. Some I take my time to come close to. When I am in doubt, I go back to my corner. To hold a silent discussion, which is nothing less than a war conference. From behind the walls of my corner, I observe the new comers. I have my own little set of parameters to test them on. They need to pass them all with high scores too! For once, mediocracy isn’t acceptable. You must posses a gem of heart to be a part of my life.

You see, it is important, lest you laugh at me. I value my relations. They are not just there to adorn a virtual wall, like pictures. They are going to be a part of me. Of my life. They are meant to get entwined with the other relations of my life. So I need to choose carefully. I owe this to my existing relations. There should’nt come a time when I need to choose between two loved ones. Hence, the conscious decision to take my time to choose.

I go to my corner, day after day, to change, to remould my self. To be a new me. Time walks with a speed that is insane to keep up with. But then, as the saying goes, change is the only constant thing. I need to change to be happier, to connect with life and my little world better. Some times, people come looking for an older version of me, and when they don’t find it, they do not want to relate with me. To connect with me, accept a newer me, better or worse. That is when and that is how Autumn descends on these relations. I keep the memories of such relations in my corner. They are good memories after all. They have things to teach me. So even when people have moved on, or in some cases, I have, memories are always there, to be my guiding light.

Where is this Corner, you will want to know. Its in the same place, yours and every one else’s is. Within me. The corner is me.

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