LOVE STORY

                                           "IN SEARCH OF HER PRINCE"

Once there was a little girl. She believed in romance even before she could spell the word. She saw  love everywhere; longing to have her own special someone. Maisha was in search of finding her own identity, but it was just that she did not know it then. She chose to hide behind a mass of fat; brought doom down upon her by eating away her own life’s blooming years. She would find herself quite different from the crowd, even though she could be friendly to all but could not relate to most people. Crystal clear, as if seeing it reshape right in front of her eyes, she recalled her little sister’s play in school, ‘Snow white and the seven dwarfs’. The whole play had one line that was said by her sister, Natasha:  “One day, my prince will come!”  And those innocent words got engraved into Maisha’s mind and heart.

This little princess started feeling alive as she left school and mingled with new people. The taste of freedom meant the world to her. She felt she needed to do things on her own. She learnt things the hard way went through major ups and downs in her life; though sailed smoothly in matters of comfort and education. God willing, Maisha shared a great bond with her family and close friends. She tried to make her father proud of her at any given chance, and even though he rarely showed it, she knew that she was the apple of his eye. Positivity came to her much later in life. She needed to see the good in the bad and remind herself that there must be a reason behind everything that happens, instead of just crying out: “why me?”

Natasha had married her boyfriend, whom she was in love with since seven years, Raol was his name. Even though it had been a year since her sister was married; to Maisha, it seemed just like yesterday when the house was filled with friends and family. Weirdly, answering questions such as: “Any good news? When are you getting married? You’re next?!” She had to smile and keep replying: “Pray for me!” “Thank you!” “Fingers crossed!” An internal volcano would be erupting inside her, as if she didn’t want to get married! It was just that things weren’t falling into place for her at the moment.

Three years in the past the scene was a little different. She had fallen in love for the first time; things had seemed on a different track. There was someone, who was not just special to her, but who was her world! One day, during a trip with friends, she met someone she already knew, her friend’s brother, Marc. Living in different cities all their lives, had met after years. There was an age difference between them, him being a few years younger, which at this point, seemed just like a number. Maisha suddenly saw Marc in a new light, to her it seemed like he had transformed, from a boy to a man. A different language was being spoken, only the two of them could understand and eyes did the talking while lips stayed mum. Only the two existed then. Their reunion felt like a fairy tale. The moment she met him it seemed they were destined to be.

On a day out with friends she had coincidentally met him; even in her wildest dreams she had not thought she would end up feeling how she felt then! She could feel her heart beats racing, her nerves unsteady and ears burning.

The next day Maisha suggested to her friends to go street shopping. Maisha spotted Marc, in line at the metro ticket counter. Call it fate or coincidence, as luck would have it; they were heading the same way. Suddenly Maisha lost her balance and Marc caught her at the nick of time; facing each other rather close, suddenly the trance phase began again. Magically they were transported to a dream land, as they got lost into each other’s eyes. Their friends along with some passengers seemed quite taken aback by their sudden surge of attraction. A scene, much like out of a Bollywood movie emerged and the public half expected them to break out in a song and dance sequence. Few days at hand, choice of venue was chosen for their rendezvous. Officially on the first date, they shared a cup of black coffee. Although, Maisha didn’t care much for strong coffee, momentarily she was so lost in romance that she did not care if she was drinking ‘mud water’ as long as it was shared with him. Such was the love! ; No wonder they say: “Love is blind.” Thinking of it now it felt rather silly; but back then, a memory was born…… Maisha recalled Marc mentioning very casually: “I was in love with you but now I seem to have fallen out of it.” These words repetitively rang in her ears.

This memory took her to happier days and she wondered how in a moment of sweet caress he had uttered the words every girl wants to hear ‘I love you’ and before the blink of an eyelid she had responded with a confirmation. The high from being in love was a complete new experience for her. Even though she had always been in love with the idea of being in love, she had not in her dreamiest days fathomed something of what she was encountering.

To and fro good and bad memories, she remembered a telephonic conversation as it were yesterday……

Maisha: “Why cannot we continue to be in touch and see how things go? Do you have someone else? You’re keeping something from me? Tell me…Damn it…Answer to ME!!!”

Marc: “You are assuming things as usual… I have always told you over time not to assume and presume things.”

Maisha: “Why are you doing this to me then?

Marc: “You won’t be happy with me…!”

Maisha: “Fine! I won’t bother you anymore….You don’t deserve me anyways…I’ll go and be with someone who cares.”

Marc: “Great! Be my guest! Go ahead and let that person also see what a pain in the neck you are.”

Maisha: “Yeah? Is that so? You really think of me as a pain.”

Marc: “A pain you surely are…. Where all, is a topic I don’t want to get into!”

Maisha: “Go to hell! I hate you!”

Conversations like these took place off n on in the future. Things never did settle until much later…..

Maisha disliked saying goodbyes and when that dreaded day appeared Maisha, had no other choice. They kept in touch, over the cell phone mostly; quite in love with each other.

Marc had landed with a job offer in Mumbai, which he had been eagerly wanting. This included change of residence and the freedom to explore his life in a complete new direction. It was a whole new lifestyle and he seemed quite excited to be taking that step for his brighter future.

Maisha saw her dreams shattering like clear glass right in front of her eyes and felt the splinters poking her heart. She tried very hard to put up a brave front, which even with great difficulty could not push aside the thought. It kind of gave her the vibe that he was moving further away from her. She was truly happy for him. She believed that love could sustain distance and decided to continue this love charade…but ….DESTINY had other plans.

She was in a love for the very first time. Having had no former training to become a complete emotional fool, she was mastering the art of being ‘dumbstruck in love’. She had a temper of her own and she always resisted getting angry at him.

At the end of the third month of being together, he made it clear that they should part ways as this ‘thing’ they had between them would not work in the long run and he did not want anyone to get hurt. She was feeling mixed emotions. At one point she felt like screaming at him for treating her the way he was. At another, she was this vulnerable little girl, begging to be taken back into his life .She wanted the relationship to be given one more chance. Unconvinced, Maisha had no choice but to accept the decision that was shoved in her face. She tried endlessly to make peace with this decision. The initiative to keep in touch was more-over hers. Some days, things got out of hand; they encountered misunderstandings and assumptions. Her fear was of another woman in his life.

About a year after their split, Marc’s family heard a rumor; upon which they weren’t particularly pleased even though both belonged to the same community. Her being older was a matter of concern but even that could have been considered, if Marc was interested. To which he simply put that she was the one who liked him and they were just friends. Maisha felt there were very many words and emotions unexplained. She just wanted him to look into her eyes and say that he did not love her anymore. She was fuming for the way he treated her but she was a scale angrier at herself for putting up with all this. She deserved to be treated better…way better! Realizing a major flaw now, Maisha thought: “The more you hang on to someone, lesser the chances of having them in your life. Most people tend to feel claustrophobic around the ones who see them as possessions. They need to be treated casually or worst still, ignored. That’s when they feel something is wrong and try to make amends.

After all the dramatics they were STILL on talking terms. Life as we know is extremely unpredictable and time took the turn it was meant to! One day, after three years of this weirdest roller coaster ride of her life, Maisha decided to get some closure! She knew she had thought about this enough; she asked him if he was interested in spending his life with her! She had to make it clear because all this wondering was driving her mad. If this continued she’d turn insane… There had to be a way OUT!

He had mentioned marriage on two occasions, therefore she knew he had given the idea some thought. Although she was told not to take much notice of the fact that the topic had been broached. Weirdly for a long time it was one of the major reasons the hope of him still loving her carried on in her heart. She recalled the feeling of those words on her tongue giving way and a distinct metallic taste in her mouth. It had taken her three years of this monotonous task of trying to understand and bring meaning to this so called relationship. Which she realized hadn’t even started!

Though in an intuitive way, she sensed that she had lost him the day he knew he was her world. Deep inside herself, she was a shattered soul. She cried to herself when she was alone and very often had to cry herself to sleep. Memories in forms of songs haunted her and refreshed her wounds. She didn’t regret anything that had happened. She knew whatever she was now is because of the line of events that took place. In fact, in her heart, she thanked God each day at every step she took now.

Maisha now was a more positive and confident person at every avenue in her life. She believed in the law of attraction and had also adopted a new healthy lifestyle regime. She was a new person with every change in her life. She realized that not thinking and obsessing about him each minute of the day she had more time for herself .Professionally, finally finding her way she decided to take up writing. She felt she had a shot to prove herself here after her many interest failures. Knowing she had a knack of talking, getting to know people and helping everyone with her convincing words, she wanted to pursue this along with anything else that interested her along the way. Maisha had finally found peace when she heard him say that he didn’t want any ‘girl’ in his life at the moment because he himself did not know which road he was heading in his life.

She strangely felt a surgical mixture of two emotions, sadness and relief. Already expecting this and in more ways than one, she just needed to hear those words aloud!

They decided to stay friends, which she knew was not quite the way things would turn out, even though she was on friendly terms with his family. His sister was her close friend. That relation would always remain the way it was from the very beginning. Maisha remembered the words Marc would always say: “I do not promise what I cannot deliver.” But I think it was he who should have understood that promises are not only made by words; they are also made by actions and can be interpreted in very many other ways. She did not blame him anymore. In fact he was the one lost in this journey called life. In more ways than one because of him, she had found her highway and now she decided to enjoy the journey and not bother too much about the destination. She had also realized that he came to her when he needed her help and that was something she had made him accustomed to ; saying ‘yes’ to his every need without really thinking about what the outcome maybe, as long as he was happy!

Sitting alone, thoughts galore, promising herself that she would never say ‘yes’ without thinking. Ironically, she would never forget the words Marc had once told her: “Hope for the best but prepare for the worst!” These words would stay with her as would he in a secret chamber deep within her heart! Though that was in the past, and knowing that the future is sweet to people who have the patience to curb their curiosity, Maisha slowly started building her resistance to not falter when the time calls for the true decision. She had heard that when we lose, the next time, we only gain!

Maisha smiles…..a deep grin spreads on her peacefully light face….deep in thought….as present dawns upon her. She is not quite sure where she is heading, even as she sets out to take happy steps throughout the day; what she does know is that she is still in search of her not perfect but interesting ‘Prince’!

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                                                                                                        SOURCE BY-AYESHA

PUBLISHED BY-OURHELLO.COM